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Tex Commando

I'm not angry, just outspoken

I had a serious decision to make tonight. Chick-fil-a cookies and cream milkshake or Samuel Adams Cream Stout? Take a wild guess which one I chose?

Should I be offended that the dudes at the liquor store don’t ask me for my ID? Or should I be flattered that they flirt with me and remember me? BTW Mr. Tex, I am just friendly. Not flirtatious like I am with you (insert sexy duck face here).

This post is making me sound like I drink all the time or something. I don’t. If I did, this second beer wouldn’t be slowing down my blogging process as much as it is right now. Enough about my alcohol consumption. Let’s talk about something that’s actually interesting. (crickets chirping) Ummmmm…you mofos are still here? I figured that you would have left by now.

OK, well since you are still here, I guess I’ll keep writing so you have something to do while you’re still here. Yesterday, Koda gave me one of the most awesome compliments. It seriously made my day happier. The spirit must have been guiding him to recognize me on his blog and therefore allow me to see that he found mine and that he liked the post that I had up that day. It’s amazing how blessed and humble I am! But today, it got me thinking about my blogging associates. Most of you people I read are so- smart. At least you write smart. The blogs I read on a regular basis are so intelligent and articulate and analytical (most of them). I enjoy reading them. But I have to admit something to you people because you are my mofos and I know you ‘got my back’. I don’t always really understand what I read. And!!! I most of the time want to comment, but I can’t make my comment sound as smart as the other comments so I don’t comment because I feel dumbish. But then I think to myself, “Fuck that shit! I AM SMART!!”

And now, I’m thinking about a brilliant comment I wrote on Brandi’s blog about people trying to ‘out righteous’ each other. (I’m not linking you to her shit. It’s not really that good anyway. Don’t waste your time.) Do you people think that’s what is happening? Why? We all know that the ex-mormons, disaffected mormons, inactive mormons, less-active mormons, etc., are all smarter than the average person. (Just kidding, don’t get maaaad. You’re smart too. I’m being an ass. It’s my blog. Feel free to call me out on my shit because I want lots of comments about how much of an asshole I am and I want hate mail.) But why do you have to ‘out intellectual’ each other?

That shit is intimidating for a straightforward thinker like me. I write like I talk. I use smart words sometimes. I read. I have a good vocabulary. I generally speak English good (ha ha ha, well). I’m not necessarily asking you to dumb the conversation down for me. I just think that maybe you could be less smart sometimes. Or maybe you all ARE really smarter than me and I really AM just a dumb bitch with a nice ass. In that case, just tell me how pretty I am even though there aren’t any pictures of me on this blog. And if you have seen my ass, tell me how good it is. Ok?

But use big words and lots of symbolism will ya?


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