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Tex Commando

I'm not angry, just outspoken

Not the actual birthday of my life as a real person who actually exists in the world. I didn’t miss that. That happened a couple of weeks ago. I’m officially in my mid-late 30’s. It’s pretty awesome. I like it.

The birthday I did  miss was Tex Commando’s first birthday. I’m about a week late. Last week was pretty hectic. I won’t bore you with the details. I will, however, bore you with some reflections about my life over the past year. JZ did the same thing. I think she and I were probably born around the same time. I always knew that bitch was special. But enough about her. It’s my blog.

  1. I lost one of my best friends and gained no less than 4. I won’t mention your names because you should know who you are. Ok. I will mention one person because I don’t want her to have any doubt about how much she means to me. Brandi. That bitch is one of my favorites. Seriously. She is amazing. We can go from sarcastically loving insults one minute to heartfelt soul-bearing to uncomfortably funny sexy texts all in one conversation. She is so perceptive, and keeps shit real. I appreciate that because I can be pretty clueless sometimes. It was worth losing that one friendship to have gained what I have gained with Brandi’s. (FTR, I mostly wrote all of that because I know it makes her feel uncomfortable when I say nice things to/about her.)
  2. It was cool to have an alter ego. I liked the feeling that I could be more ‘me’ here. Tex was the person that has always been hiding inside of me. Tex IS Marianne. It’s the uncensored part of me. Or at least I thought it was. But I still censor myself. Everyone does.
  3. I don’t really have much to say. A lot of the time, I start posting something and then I realize that it’s shit. Or, I think that no one really cares about my opinion about whatever it is. That’s why I’m not really keeping this blog updated like I’d like to.
  4. Although I don’t actively seek to influence people to sin (whatever that means), I do try to encourage people to be true to themselves. Some people see this as a threat. To some it’s a slippery slope best to be avoided. To me, it’s one of my best qualities.
  5. What started out as funny and silly, has turned into something that makes me feel very uncomfortable. My ass. As in- Lookit my ass, isn’t it amazing? I know I have perpetuated it. I have encouraged it. But it’s not just the ass. It’s the whole sexy thing in general. I’m more than that. It sounds dismissive when people throw that into the conversation. In some cases it doesn’t bother  me. If you own a picture of my ass in a bikini, I don’t care what you have to say about it. If you have ever taken a picture of my ass or will ever take one, you are allowed to talk about it. I know it’s a weird double standard. I feel the same way about the word apostate, and the N word.
As I go forth into my Terrible Twos, I hope they aren’t too terrible. There are a lot of exciting changes on the horizon for the Commando family. I hope to get Mr. Tex on here sometime. Maybe some crafty shit, and once I start cooking again, I’ll post a couple more recipes. What do you want to see from me?
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