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Tex Commando

I'm not angry, just outspoken

Isn’t it a funny word?

I am sitting here in my quiet living room while my girls are still sleeping, trying to think of something to write. I usually start by thinking of a title and then I start to write something, then decide that the original title doesn’t fit so I delete it then write something in this huge empty space then give it a title. This happens almost every time. This time I just decided to go for it with the original title that popped into my head. (Aren’t you glad you know all that?)

Anyway, I like the word momentum. It sounds weird when you keep saying it over and over and over in your head. If you keep repeating it, the beginning and the end of the word disappears. It just keeps rolling into the next word like a snowball rolling down the hill gaining


It’s even fun to type over and over again. Try it.

When I started writing, I had in mind the idea of keeping up the momentum of blogging again. Then I thought about school. I’m in school again and kicking its ass. Then I thought about my kids. SCREEEEEECH!!! The momentum stops.

Since I only have them with me half of the time, we don’t get to pick up speed once we get rolling. Every couple of days, the snowball hits a tree. Then we re-form the snowball and get it rolling again, and then BAM! Another tree.

It’s good. For the first time in my life as a parent, I don’t want momentum. I don’t want the snowball to keep rolling along without any help from me. I am appreciating the act of making the snowball with them and getting it going. The momentum turns into moment.

This tiny apartment is perfect for moments. Like, when Trystan and I discovered on Friday night that Vivian’s hamster was dying. It was just the two of us. The girls were out with friends. You should have seen him trying to feed it and make it drink water. He wanted to find out what was wrong with it. He tried to save its life to spare Vivian the heartache. Don’t think it was completely sweet. Because once he realized that the thing wasn’t going to make it, he asked if he could feed it to his snake. Uhhhhh….NO.

The kids are playing together. We are baking together, and creating memories in our new surroundings. It’s fun. It’s tight. They bicker, and I don’t have any choice but to hear it. They also cooperate and I get to hear that too. It balances out. We get into a groove and then it’s time to go to dad’s house.

Now don’t get me wrong- I enjoy cleaning my apartment after they leave, and it STAYING CLEAN FOR DAYS!!!!! I like hearing only the quiet hum of the refrigerator. The pillows stay on the couch. The shoes put away in their place. Blankets folded in the ottoman. Kitchen sink clear of dirty dishes. My own personal snowball starts rolling down the hill. By the end of the week, I’m ready for it to hit the tree. I’m ready to start over again with the kids.

This new routine is the new momentum. This new snowball’s momentum is gaining speed, rolling along. Sooner than I realize, it’s going to hit a tree. And it’ll be time to build another snowball with different snow on a different hill. Except it’ll be summertime. And there’s no snow in the summertime. So what’s a good analogy for the summertime? Eh, whatever. You get my point.


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