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Tex Commando

I'm not angry, just outspoken

Category Archives: The History of Tex

Do you remember it? All I remember was a trippy kids show that really was worse than Teletubbies. I also remember my brother got Mimi one for her birthday or Christmas or something like that, and I was so mad at him because it was annoying as FUCK! It lit up and danced and made noises.(Ya know, the kind of toy your younger brother gets your kid to make you regret the years of torment you inflicted on him as children.)

 

So, of course I gave it away.

Remember, your kid loved it and would play with it every time you came over. I relished in the fact that YOU would get to enjoy it and I wouldn’t have to anymore.

(Did you pass it on to some other kid whose stressed out mom had to listen to it?)

I haven’t thought about those days in close to 10 years. Those were the days when I was a “good example” (of what?). Those were the days when I knew it all. I knew what to think, what to do, how to behave, who to love, where I belonged, what my role as a woman was, who my friends were, and how to speak to them when I wanted to – I KNEW!

Now? I don’t know it all anymore. I know a lot, don’t get me wrong. But I don’t know EVERYTHING like I used to.

Want to know something? Don’t watch this video. Seriously. Don’t watch it. Otherwise, you’ll hate me all over again just like you did that time almost ten years ago.

 

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When you’ve been BFF’s with someone for years, then have an illicit relationship with them and then end up living together, how do you decide when your anniversary is?

Do you base it on when SHE realized that she loved you?

Or, when YOU realized that you loved her?

Or is it when you told her that you loved her?

Or maybe it was the first time you kissed?  

Or when you told your friends you were ‘together’? But which friend was the first one to know?

But, what about all the friends who ‘knew’ before you did? Do you take that into consideration?

Or is it when you told your blog?

Or Facebook?

Either way, it has been an amazing, difficult, exciting, challenging, enlightening, fantastic , +/- year!

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For some reason, I started reading old blog posts from The Other blog. Then Brandi read more and told me about it. Then I read more this morning. And more and more and more. So, here are a few that I thought were particularly excellent. They are in no particular order. Read the comments too. Most of the fun happens in the comments.

The Definition of Marianne

This never got a chance to happen. (read the comments) I need to do this. I need to kick the shit talker’s ass in June. Maybe I’ll give her a week to get settled before I crush her.

Guess what we did today. It’s a many-times-a-year thing. I can’t wait to take Brandi and her kids.

I used to cook like a motherfucker. I even posted RECIPES. I need banana cake now. And ohmyfuckinggod spaghetti and meatballs , I forgot about this one!!!

This is about the time in the life of Cookies 4 Breakfast when I start to really crack myself up. It’s also when I am in the process of losing a dear friendship. It’s also when another better friendship starts to REALLY take shape. It’s about a month into TexCommando. Only a couple more links, and I’ll be done. I promise.

When Jesus Attacks, that asshole Jesus is always fucking my shit up.

The last line STILL cracks me up (you must read this one)

Brandi is at least 13 out of the 18 that I listed. She was before she became the love of my life, and she still is (plus more that I won’t torture you all with).

What do you think? Did I miss anything?

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So, what’s new?

Nothing much here.

Unless you want to call kicking ass in all three of the -ology classes I’m taking, working, being mom, maintaining a long distance relationship, getting ready to move, and knitting, nothing.

Oh! Did I mention that I’m going to start doing yoga again, too?

It’s stressful and exciting. If I think about it too much I get overwhelmed, but it’s exciting so I think about it. So then I get stressed, and excited all over again. (It’s hard living inside my head sometimes)

And the long distance relationship thing. It fucking sucks. I don’t  know how people can do this long-term. I can hardly make it through the next four weeks. Shit! The next four hours would be too long. UGH.

I’m a tiny bit obsessed with talking about Brandi to my coworkers anyone who are my captive audience will listen. By tiny, I mean a tiny bit of my conversations are about anything but My B.

Soooooo… since you are still reading, AND I mentioned Brandi, allow me to tell you a few things about her.

  • Did you know that My Brandi is a writer? Of course you knew that. OF COURSE you knew about her blog. What? You didn’t know that she has one? It’s imperative that you stop what you’re doing RIGHT THIS MINUTE and get over there. Give yourself a few hours (days) and read every post and every comment. Oh. My. God. I don’t go back and re-read things I have already read, but I was doing it tonight, and I laughed out loud at least eighty million times. She’s funny. And I’m not saying that because I love her. Start here, at the grocery store. Next, take a trip to your local YMCA. If you don’t LOL, you are a humorless idiot who shouldn’t be allowed to breathe . (I could link you to a ton of these awesome gems of hilarity, but I need to get on with this homage to My Brandi so I can call her.)
  • She is a smart lady. She knows things. Not only does she know things, she can have intelligent, thought-provoking conversations about things. All kinds of things. Next time you see her, ask her about something controversial like, euthanasia or late-term abortion. You’re sure to have an interesting conversation.
  • She is a good listener. For some reason, people feel safe talking to her. I know I do. I always have. Maybe it goes back to her being smart and able to carry on thoughtful conversations. But she’s open minded and doesn’t judge (much).
  • She has the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever had the pleasure to gaze into. That fact is true. You can see for yourself next time you see her. But the real truth behind this fact is that she has turned me into a mushy ball of mush. This one isn’t so much about her as it is about what she has done to me. Love letters? Check. Paper chains with little messages written on them counting down significant events? Check. Sweet goodnight video messages every night before I go to sleep? Check. Songs that make me cry tears of happiness because they describe perfectly how I feel about My Brandi? Check. And I have only scratched the surface on this one.

I guess the point of this whole thing is to say that I’m doing fine. Life is hectic, but exciting. I miss My Brandi.

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The Announcement. I think it’s tacky. When am I going to tell Facebook? That has been a question I have been asked over and over again. If you talk to me on a regular basis, you already know. If I hang out with you, you know EVERYTHING. If we are close friends, then you probably know more than you ever wanted to know.

I’m getting a divorce.

No need for the sad face. The end of my marriage isn’t a sad thing. I mean, it’s sad, but also happy. It’s happy-sad. It’s a good move. Homie and I are cool. Awkward sometimes, but cool. It was just time for our marriage to come to an end. 17 years was a good run.

There is someone else.

Not shocked? Fuck you. Just kidding (kinda). Marriage is complicated. People change. When you get married at 20, you are bound to change. To be clear, I didn’t leave my marriage for someone else. I left my marriage for myself. The someone else part was just the catalyst for a marriage ending that should have ended several years ago. Whether the new relationship with the other person lasts forever or not, it’s OK. I am working on Tex.

It’s a woman.

Close your mouth. You’re starting to drool. Who is it? Put the pieces together. It’s not THAT hard to figure out. Trust me, I’m just as shocked as you are. So is she. We never imagined we’d be SO MUCH IN LOVE!!!!! (yeah, yeah, jar)

AAAAAAND on that note, I’m going to go work on my sweater. And drink some wine. I think I might need some wine tonight.

Still haven’t figured it out? Try this.

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Change sucks.  Even good change.

900 square feet is enough until you add children.

College is hard. I think this is one of the reasons I stopped doing it.

I fucking love science. Who am I?

I have a favorite element – H. Can you guess why? (Brandi, you can’t answer)

It’s a good thing that I have a psychiatrist who thinks Ritalin is a good treatment for my ADHD otherwise I’d never get all this reading done.

A good BLF can make everything better.

People surprise and amaze me every day. That’s usually a good thing.

Thursday night is my new favorite night. I didn’t have one before, so I guess technically, it’s just my favorite night.

I haven’t gotten up from this chair in several hours. I think my ass might be fused to the cushion.

I should probably eat lunch.

Ok. That’s it. I am outta here.

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