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Tex Commando

I'm not angry, just outspoken

Tag Archives: Cooking

For some reason, I started reading old blog posts from The Other blog. Then Brandi read more and told me about it. Then I read more this morning. And more and more and more. So, here are a few that I thought were particularly excellent. They are in no particular order. Read the comments too. Most of the fun happens in the comments.

The Definition of Marianne

This never got a chance to happen. (read the comments) I need to do this. I need to kick the shit talker’s ass in June. Maybe I’ll give her a week to get settled before I crush her.

Guess what we did today. It’s a many-times-a-year thing. I can’t wait to take Brandi and her kids.

I used to cook like a motherfucker. I even posted RECIPES. I need banana cake now. And ohmyfuckinggod spaghetti and meatballs , I forgot about this one!!!

This is about the time in the life of Cookies 4 Breakfast when I start to really crack myself up. It’s also when I am in the process of losing a dear friendship. It’s also when another better friendship starts to REALLY take shape. It’s about a month into TexCommando. Only a couple more links, and I’ll be done. I promise.

When Jesus Attacks, that asshole Jesus is always fucking my shit up.

The last line STILL cracks me up (you must read this one)

Brandi is at least 13 out of the 18 that I listed. She was before she became the love of my life, and she still is (plus more that I won’t torture you all with).

What do you think? Did I miss anything?


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I did a good job with yoga for the first two weeks of the month, then my kids had two weeks of early dismissals, holidays, days off school, yadda yadda yadda. They threw my shit off. It’s them, not me. Today is the first full day I have to clean my house, have conversations with myself and do laundry in forever. As much as I want to to sweat my ass off, I can’t do it. I need to be home. I have Mr. T trying to get me to meet him for lunch. Damn! Does it ever end?

I’m just kidding about the lunch thing. I like to go out for lunch. I prefer to have lunch out. I usually don’t eat lunch unless I get it out somewhere. The only thing about meeting him for lunch is that it’s a 30 minute drive to where he is, then we have to decide where to eat. Then it’s 30 minutes back home. I already committed to picking up a kid from school, so now my whole afternoon is messed up.

The things I do for love.

Oh, I am starting a new job Tuesday. I’ll be working at my yarn store two days a week. I’m pretty excited about that. Until the next thing comes along. Why is that? I’m like a little kid who sees all of the toys in the store and just HAS to have a specific one. Only when I get the toy, it’s just a countdown until I lose interest in that particular toy and NEED another, shinier, more exciting toy. How can I be better about that?

I haven’t cooked any more Indian food. So much for that idea.

Speaking of food, Mr. T and I get to have dinner with Lori and Jason at one of my favorite lunch date restaurants. I am hoping it’s freezing cold when I leave to meet Mr. T, because I am planning on wearing the mittens I just made. I’m giving them to Lori, so she can keep her new fingers warm. I really need to quality test them before I give them to her.

I guess that’s it for now. How is YOUR January going?

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I’m doing it! Over the past week, I have:

  • completed 7 yoga classes over the past 9 days. I am unofficially doing a 60 day challenge. That’s 90 hours of yoga in two months. I don’t know if I’ll actually do that much, but at this point, I have done more over the past week than I have done over the past two months. I’ll consider this first week a WIN!
  • cooked delicious Indian food. I used at least 3,000 bowls, dishes, pans, spoons, and measuring cups to make  Makhani Chicken, basmati rice, and  Naan. If you decide to make it, marinate the chicken like this and cook the sauce like the first recipe using the first suggestion. Also, this tastes even better the second day, so double the recipe like I did, and eat it for several days. I decided that I’ll focus on a different country/cuisine per month. I already have a request for Chinese next month. Do you mofos have a  suggestion?
  • plans to try to make a new friend. This girl and I from yoga talked some over the summer, and we lost touch because of my absence from yoga over the past several months. I saw her this morning, and I decided this afternoon that I’m going to try to make a new friend. She’s cool, and we seem to get along pretty well. We were both happy to see each other and catch up. It’s fucking weird to try to make a new friend. What do you say? “Hi, I’m Tex, will you be my friend?” Oh to be six again…
  • not had too many more ‘gasms over the past week. Why? I’ll have to discuss that with the Mr., and possibly work on some ‘self exploration’ while he’s gone for the week.

All in all, I’ve had a pretty good first week of the year. My evil plot to get my fellow apostate knitting best local maryland friend to the yarn store is going to come to fruition tomorrow. I’m looking forward to that. (Don’t you love all of the damned qualifiers?)

My littlest girl and I have started a nightly tradition of connect four. I plan to groom her to  actually be able to challenge me one day.  Mimi has even gotten into the nightly action. It’s a good alternative to planting them in front of the TV while I ignore them.

How was your first week?

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I’m not usually the kind of person who does a lot of categorizing and listing. I also don’t do resolutions. Since it’s  a new year and all I thought, “Fuckit. I’ll do both and check in weekly.”

I know you mofos are already tuning out and picking at your nails. I know that my follow-through sucks. I know. I’m hanging my head in shame. But this time it’s going to be different. (That’s what HE said.)

So, here are some of my resolutions or goals or desires or hopes or whatever the hell you want to call it.

  1. Get myself out there more. To me, this means to expand my circle beyond the one or two friends I communicate with. I have become somewhat of a recluse over the past few months. It’s pretty depressing, and I am tired of it. I need more friends.
  2. Make myself do things even if I don’t want to. Refer to the top. I am a bit depressed. As a result, I haven’t had much (any) motivation to do anything extra. Like the things I love to do. Like cook. And exercise. And socialize. I need to make myself do these things. I know I will be happier if I just get off my ass.
  3. Challenge my creativity. This year, I plan to take it to the next level. You all know I knit, but this time I’m going to knit something difficult and beautiful. No more scarves and mittens. I used to cook all the time. I was passionate about food. It’s time to get some of that fire back into my belly. And, something different. I don’t know what it will be, but I will do something else. I have always wanted to learn how to throw pottery. I might try that.
  4. Have more orgasms. You know how it is with depression- lack of interest in sex. Not only do I have little or no interest in sex with my sexy husband, I don’t even want to have sex with myself. Lame. That’s going to change.

Wish me luck. I’ll get back to you mofos in a week with what I did on the list.

What are YOUR resolutions/goals/desires/hopes for the upcoming year?

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I like tradition. I also like change. I’m not the kind of person who has to have the same things in the same order in the same way with the same people on the same dishes using the same recipes cooked the same way every year for the holidays. I like a big meal for TG. It just doesn’t have to be a ‘traditional’ meal. Get it?

For ten years, I had the ‘traditional’ meal. There were a few things added in over the years as I discovered new recipes, but nothing was EVER taken out. Everyone had their favorite thing, and no one could be disappointed. The food was good, of course, but it was always the same. I always lobbied for something different, something out of the ordinary, something interesting. I almost always got shot the fuck down. So, it was a bittersweet victory when I stopped going to West Virginia for TG and didn’t have to cook what everyone else insisted on.

I love the idea of eating Mexican or Chinese for TG dinner. Shit! Pizza would be a fun idea too. My family always rebels at this idea. I practically get tied up and beaten whenever I mention this. So, this year, I tucked my tail between my legs, put my head down, and cooked a delicious traditional meal using my usual delicious recipes. I left two of my least favorite things out of the equation- sweet potato balls, and banana pudding. Read the recipe and use your brain to figure out why I didn’t want to make those damned things AGAIN. And the banana pudding, well, it’s just been done over and over and over again. It’s so overdone, that it isn’t even appealing anymore.

So this afternoon, while I was in my fourth hour of cooking, everyone had something to say about having Chinese food for dinner. As in- they all wanted that instead of turkey and stuffing. Whaaaat!? They all looked at me like it was my fault that we had turkey for TG. Really? Because every time I mention doing something different, everyone screams bloody murder. And now they want something different? Fuck that!

BUT!!!!! They gave me shit because I didn’t make the sweet potato shit balls and the banana pudding. So, not only did they not want turkey and wanted Chinese, but since they had turkey, they felt cheated out of the full thing because they didn’t have those other two disgusting dishes. It was all I could do to tell them to go to West Virginia next year and eat that shit there. I didn’t have to, because Patricia read my mind and suggested to Trystan that they save their money and go there next year. Asshole.

Those little fuckers have some nerve. They really have no idea. Maybe it’s my ego. I will concede that perhaps my ego has a part in the reason I have not tried to make amends. But, relationships go both ways, and no effort has been made on the other side either.

The kids think they’re being funny by saying that “It’s just not Thanksgiving without Them.” It’s not funny. It’s hurtful. I’ll talk to them about it later when they are done acting like assholes long enough to actually have a serious conversation. For now, I’m going to drown my feelings in pecan pie, apple pie, and pumpkin tarts.

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I usually suck at giving presents. Unless they’re for myself. Then I do quite the opposite- not suck.

Mr. T usually gets the suck end of the stick for his birthday because it’s just a few weeks before Father’s Day. For some reason, I can never get my shit together. It’s a good thing I’m good in the sack.

This year, I actually had a little wad of money at the time of Mr. T’s birthday. I wanted to buy him a bike so he could go bike riding with me.  As I was telling my eldest child what I was planning for her dad’s birthday, she ever-so-sensibly suggested that I get something that he wants. Ya know, because it’s his birthday and all.

What her dad has really wanted for a long time is BBQ classes. He loves to grill, but doesn’t have much knowledge beyond the basics. So, I put my perfect present for myself him on the backburner and searched  for and found the perfect birthday present for him: Bobby Flay’s ‘Grill It’ class at Sur La Table. He loved it, AND I had the perfect follow-on present for Father’s Day: a gift card to the awesome store he’d be at for his class.

But, I didn’t get the gift card. I forgot/got wrapped up in other things/spent the money/ forgot/ ran out of time/didn’t. I still have little bit of time to save up a more respectable amount of dinero for the gift card, so I scrapped that idea for now.

Instead, I baked some good shit for him last night. I made tiramisu again for the second time in my life and the second time in less than a month. AND I also baked an angel food cake with orange glaze and fresh whipped cream FROM SCRATCH. The kids and I made him a huge card from a ginormous poster board, and we ate those two desserts for breakfast.

The best part of it was last night while I was whipping up the eggs he told me that his grandma would make him an angel food cake every year for his birthday because angel food is his favorite. I was glad to give him his favorite cake.

Now, I’ll stop talking about how amazing I am, and tell you how great Mr. T is:

1. He is friendly.

2. He is kind.

3. He is thoughtful.

4. He is funny.

5. He is my best friend.

6. He is gorgeous.

7. He is a very good listener.

8. He is an awesome dad.

9. He is great in bed.

10. He is putting his life on the line right this moment while he teaches our soon-to-be 16 year old how to drive.

‘Nuff said.


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  1. Five year olds are way too candid. In fact, they are embarrassingly candid sometimes. Mine pointed out in the dressing room of Kohl’s that my belly button looks weird, and all the lines on my stomach made it look like a zebra. Then she asked which ones she made. Ummmmm…you didn’t make any because my skin was ALREADY stretched way the fuck beyond natural capacity two kids ago. Thanks for noticing OUT LOUD IN PUBLIC.
  2. Morning coffee is much better with a shot of amaretto in it. I’m not a liquor person. I don’t usually have any liquor around except Bacardi Limon (you know, because diet coke tastes better with a lemon). But, we are going to a party tonight, and I am using up the remaining lady’s fingers I bought for Mr. T’s birthday cake to make tiramisu. I didn’t have any plain rum or Kahlua, so I used the amaretto that was hiding in the cabinet. As soon as I smelled it, I realized that I needed to have some in my coffee. If that stuff wasn’t so syrupy, I’d drink the stuff straight out of the bottle. So, here I sit at 10:22 am with a nice buzz both from all the caffeine and the amaretto. Nice.
  3. Don’t make the copycat Cheesecake Factory Limoncello Torte. You’ll be disappointed. I attempted to make it for Mr. T’s birthday yesterday, and it tasted OK, but looked like shit. NOTHING like the restaurant’s cake. Like I said, I must fix it. However, I don’t really need to have tons of cake, and cream, and mascarpone, and lemon around my house. I’ll eat all of that shit. I love lemon stuff, and I’d eat the shit out if it.
  4. Yesterday I finally blocked a person on Facebook that I’ve wanted to block for some time now. He always posts crazy and super-opinionated right-wing bullshit. Yesterday, he blew me away with his bullshit. I don’t know why I didn’t do it sooner. Methinks it’s time for another friend-scrub.
  5. Speaking of Facebook, some of us mofos have been trying to one-up each other with dinners. I’m pretty sure it started with one of the mofos being passive aggressive, and another one being aggressive. Now, it’s turned into this nightly showoff thing complete with recipes and all. There’s talk about starting a new blog around this theme. I already have some ideas, but I’d love to hear your opinions about it.
  6. The buzz is wearing off now. I must go make the tiramisu now. The custard is sufficiently cooled and the mascarpone is sufficiently warmed. Talk to you mofos later!

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