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Tex Commando

I'm not angry, just outspoken

Tag Archives: crazy thoughts

I have been away from this blog for several reasons. You may not care, but I’m assuming you do care otherwise you wouldn’t be reading it now. I have been doing the college thing, and I haven’t felt like taking time away from my studies and my lady to write to you people.

But! There has been a lot of crazy shit circulating on Facebook. I’m not usually the kind of person who spends a lot of time online talking about online things anymore. Especially not Facebook things. I mean, I always have an opinion about some dumb shit that somebody wrote, but I usually don’t express it. However, when it has the potential to affect my family I feel like I need to take some time away from my lady and my schooling to talk about it.

Frozen. A little girl who is different from everybody else around her is isolated, neglected, and emotionally abused by her parents for her entire life and has the nerve to be happy when she finally breaks free from her oppressive past.

Disobedience. Say what? Yeah. I guess it technically IS disobedient to leave an abuser. What gets me is how quickly some of  my fundamentalist acquaintances jumped on the disobedience bandwagon. WHAT THE FUCK!?!? Just because someone makes a rule doesn’t mean that it should be followed. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S ABUSE.

Gay agenda. Huh? I missed that one. Belieeeeeeve me- I look for gay things everywhere. Being a newly practicing homosexual the whole GAY thing is actually a THING for me. I didn’t get gay agenda at all when I watched that movie. Not even a little bit.

Ok. Maybe it’s a little bit gay because she didn’t need no man to save her. Also, she was at least, I dunno, 18 and not married. I think by Disney (and religious fundamentalist) standards that practically makes her a spinster. And you KNOW all spinsters are spinsters because they are gay. Maybe it’s a teensy tiny bit gay promoting because the snowman had a little bit of extra flair, which I guess people could stereotype as gay. It seems like the whole gay thing is a stretch. 

Frozen isn’t a metaphor for gay marriage any more than it’s a metaphor for abortion or the greenhouse effect. It’s not about moral relativism either. Well, I guess technically it is if you consider it moral to ABUSE CHILDREN and I don’t.

That’s all I have to say. Probably. Brandi will fill in whatever I missed if she comments. We just got a new couch, and it’s time to break it in.

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My hope is that I’ll get it all out of the way in advance of her arrival. That might not happen, though. What might end up happening is that momentum thing that I talked about a few months ago. Maybe I’ll get rolling talking about my Ladyfriend Lovergirl and not be able to stop. Oh well, that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

#2 is a realization I had back in February. It caused a minor mental crisis until my oh-so-candid friends talked me down off the ledge. Now, after having realization #1, this one is in my mind once again. Are you tired of all the lead-up to my crazy thoughts? Welcome to my head.

I’m going to get to see and talk to best friend in the whole wide world whom I love spending time with and we will be living in the same house and I’ll get to see her WHENEVER I WANT!!!

This is a good thing! I can honestly say that there has never been a time that I haven’t loved spending time with Brandi. (Well, there was that one time at the park when our kids were little, but that doesn’t count.) There is never a dull moment when we are together. Now, with love involved, our moments are even better.

Are you wondering where the need to talk me down off the freak out ledge comes in?

I have other friends too. I do fun, impromptu things with them on the days there are no children at home with me. Things like drunk knitting with my Wednesday ladies. Or sushi. Or inviting myself over to a friend’s house when she tells me she is cooking latkes. Or a day trip to go yarn shopping (don’t laugh at me, I love this kinda thing) Still don’t see the problem?

Am I going to keep doing that? Of course I won’t always just run off with my friends. I will have a relationship to maintain. The problem is that I don’t see myself doing anything but staying home with Brandi. I see myself always choosing to spend time with her. I see the potential to get completely wrapped up in Brandi and losing Tex.

This has everything to do with how intense my feelings for her are. I’m sure the fact that we have always lived so far away from each other and only saw each other once or twice a year for so many years has something to do with it too. I know the ‘honeymoon’ will end. Eventually we will get used to being able to see and talk to each other IN PERSON. EVERYDAY. Life will become normal. The intensity will wane.

But I don’t want it to.

So, promise me something. Will you?

Promise me that if I don’t hang out with you for awhile you won’t be mad at me. Promise me that you will keep trying to include me in things even if I say no for a few months. Promise me that you will tell me if I am neglecting you. Also, promise me that you won’t think it’s weird if Brandi hangs out with us too. She’s an excellent person. You’ll love her. AND?! She doesn’t drink. I have my own built-in DD.

OK, that’s it. Today I get the keys to our place. I can’t wait!!!

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