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Tex Commando

I'm not angry, just outspoken

Tag Archives: knitting

My hope is that I’ll get it all out of the way in advance of her arrival. That might not happen, though. What might end up happening is that momentum thing that I talked about a few months ago. Maybe I’ll get rolling talking about my Ladyfriend Lovergirl and not be able to stop. Oh well, that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

#2 is a realization I had back in February. It caused a minor mental crisis until my oh-so-candid friends talked me down off the ledge. Now, after having realization #1, this one is in my mind once again. Are you tired of all the lead-up to my crazy thoughts? Welcome to my head.

I’m going to get to see and talk to best friend in the whole wide world whom I love spending time with and we will be living in the same house and I’ll get to see her WHENEVER I WANT!!!

This is a good thing! I can honestly say that there has never been a time that I haven’t loved spending time with Brandi. (Well, there was that one time at the park when our kids were little, but that doesn’t count.) There is never a dull moment when we are together. Now, with love involved, our moments are even better.

Are you wondering where the need to talk me down off the freak out ledge comes in?

I have other friends too. I do fun, impromptu things with them on the days there are no children at home with me. Things like drunk knitting with my Wednesday ladies. Or sushi. Or inviting myself over to a friend’s house when she tells me she is cooking latkes. Or a day trip to go yarn shopping (don’t laugh at me, I love this kinda thing) Still don’t see the problem?

Am I going to keep doing that? Of course I won’t always just run off with my friends. I will have a relationship to maintain. The problem is that I don’t see myself doing anything but staying home with Brandi. I see myself always choosing to spend time with her. I see the potential to get completely wrapped up in Brandi and losing Tex.

This has everything to do with how intense my feelings for her are. I’m sure the fact that we have always lived so far away from each other and only saw each other once or twice a year for so many years has something to do with it too. I know the ‘honeymoon’ will end. Eventually we will get used to being able to see and talk to each other IN PERSON. EVERYDAY. Life will become normal. The intensity will wane.

But I don’t want it to.

So, promise me something. Will you?

Promise me that if I don’t hang out with you for awhile you won’t be mad at me. Promise me that you will keep trying to include me in things even if I say no for a few months. Promise me that you will tell me if I am neglecting you. Also, promise me that you won’t think it’s weird if Brandi hangs out with us too. She’s an excellent person. You’ll love her. AND?! She doesn’t drink. I have my own built-in DD.

OK, that’s it. Today I get the keys to our place. I can’t wait!!!


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The Announcement. I think it’s tacky. When am I going to tell Facebook? That has been a question I have been asked over and over again. If you talk to me on a regular basis, you already know. If I hang out with you, you know EVERYTHING. If we are close friends, then you probably know more than you ever wanted to know.

I’m getting a divorce.

No need for the sad face. The end of my marriage isn’t a sad thing. I mean, it’s sad, but also happy. It’s happy-sad. It’s a good move. Homie and I are cool. Awkward sometimes, but cool. It was just time for our marriage to come to an end. 17 years was a good run.

There is someone else.

Not shocked? Fuck you. Just kidding (kinda). Marriage is complicated. People change. When you get married at 20, you are bound to change. To be clear, I didn’t leave my marriage for someone else. I left my marriage for myself. The someone else part was just the catalyst for a marriage ending that should have ended several years ago. Whether the new relationship with the other person lasts forever or not, it’s OK. I am working on Tex.

It’s a woman.

Close your mouth. You’re starting to drool. Who is it? Put the pieces together. It’s not THAT hard to figure out. Trust me, I’m just as shocked as you are. So is she. We never imagined we’d be SO MUCH IN LOVE!!!!! (yeah, yeah, jar)

AAAAAAND on that note, I’m going to go work on my sweater. And drink some wine. I think I might need some wine tonight.

Still haven’t figured it out? Try this.

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I wish the book Dominitrix had some good patterns in it. Like knitted handcuffs or sexy underpants. It was a fun read. Who says knitting is just for old ladies? Stupid motherfuckers, that’s who. Also, the ‘old ladies’ that I knit with are crazier and naughtier than I am. They make me blush sometimes. Do you know how hard it is to shock me with inappropriate humor? Nearly impossible. Call me crazy, but when someone asks me how old my vagina is IN A KNITTING STORE, it’s shocking.

The perfect description for me. I wear this almost every day.

And when I saw this at the knitting store, I knew it was made for me. There were at least two there. I wonder who got the other one.

Yes, that’s me knitting a glove during the tattoo. A big-ass tattoo.

He was almost done, and I was almost out of pain tolerance. The knitting actually distracted me enough to get through the last bit of filling in the color. It took two sessions, a total of seven hours, and all the cuss word combinations known to man. It’s amazing. Also, if it was socially acceptable to walk around topless (and if I had nicer tits), I’d show this thing off all the time. I love it.

Crappy self portrait. I guess I need to have someone take a good picture of me.

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I’m doing it! Over the past week, I have:

  • completed 7 yoga classes over the past 9 days. I am unofficially doing a 60 day challenge. That’s 90 hours of yoga in two months. I don’t know if I’ll actually do that much, but at this point, I have done more over the past week than I have done over the past two months. I’ll consider this first week a WIN!
  • cooked delicious Indian food. I used at least 3,000 bowls, dishes, pans, spoons, and measuring cups to make  Makhani Chicken, basmati rice, and  Naan. If you decide to make it, marinate the chicken like this and cook the sauce like the first recipe using the first suggestion. Also, this tastes even better the second day, so double the recipe like I did, and eat it for several days. I decided that I’ll focus on a different country/cuisine per month. I already have a request for Chinese next month. Do you mofos have a  suggestion?
  • plans to try to make a new friend. This girl and I from yoga talked some over the summer, and we lost touch because of my absence from yoga over the past several months. I saw her this morning, and I decided this afternoon that I’m going to try to make a new friend. She’s cool, and we seem to get along pretty well. We were both happy to see each other and catch up. It’s fucking weird to try to make a new friend. What do you say? “Hi, I’m Tex, will you be my friend?” Oh to be six again…
  • not had too many more ‘gasms over the past week. Why? I’ll have to discuss that with the Mr., and possibly work on some ‘self exploration’ while he’s gone for the week.

All in all, I’ve had a pretty good first week of the year. My evil plot to get my fellow apostate knitting best local maryland friend to the yarn store is going to come to fruition tomorrow. I’m looking forward to that. (Don’t you love all of the damned qualifiers?)

My littlest girl and I have started a nightly tradition of connect four. I plan to groom her to  actually be able to challenge me one day.  Mimi has even gotten into the nightly action. It’s a good alternative to planting them in front of the TV while I ignore them.

How was your first week?

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I’m not usually the kind of person who does a lot of categorizing and listing. I also don’t do resolutions. Since it’s  a new year and all I thought, “Fuckit. I’ll do both and check in weekly.”

I know you mofos are already tuning out and picking at your nails. I know that my follow-through sucks. I know. I’m hanging my head in shame. But this time it’s going to be different. (That’s what HE said.)

So, here are some of my resolutions or goals or desires or hopes or whatever the hell you want to call it.

  1. Get myself out there more. To me, this means to expand my circle beyond the one or two friends I communicate with. I have become somewhat of a recluse over the past few months. It’s pretty depressing, and I am tired of it. I need more friends.
  2. Make myself do things even if I don’t want to. Refer to the top. I am a bit depressed. As a result, I haven’t had much (any) motivation to do anything extra. Like the things I love to do. Like cook. And exercise. And socialize. I need to make myself do these things. I know I will be happier if I just get off my ass.
  3. Challenge my creativity. This year, I plan to take it to the next level. You all know I knit, but this time I’m going to knit something difficult and beautiful. No more scarves and mittens. I used to cook all the time. I was passionate about food. It’s time to get some of that fire back into my belly. And, something different. I don’t know what it will be, but I will do something else. I have always wanted to learn how to throw pottery. I might try that.
  4. Have more orgasms. You know how it is with depression- lack of interest in sex. Not only do I have little or no interest in sex with my sexy husband, I don’t even want to have sex with myself. Lame. That’s going to change.

Wish me luck. I’ll get back to you mofos in a week with what I did on the list.

What are YOUR resolutions/goals/desires/hopes for the upcoming year?

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It’s big,

it’s loud,

it’s the GREAT WOLF LODGE!!!

There are kids running around everywhere. Kids that are followed by exhausted adults dragging ass behind them. Or spaced-out exhausted parents sitting around while their kids run from floor to floor doing their magic quest scavenger hunts. That’s what’s happening in the hallways outside the gigantic indoor water park.

Inside the water park it’s hot, humid, and heavily chlorinated. The chlorine is so strong that it burns your eyeballs and nostrils. Yeah, you end up blind and can’t breathe, but at least you don’t have to worry about playing in water that’s crawling with microorganisms that will give you the cruddy crud. The water slides are pretty awesome. I got to play last night, but I didn’t get to splash in toxic water today because I spent all day today finishing up my christmas presents. I will have a chance to play tomorrow.

That’s all for now. I have to drink some wine. I worked up a thirst with all of that vigorous knitting I did today.

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With the holiday season upon us, I think it’s appropriate to talk about the reason for the season.


 Come on, you didn’t think I was going to say Jesus, did you? You know that he’s not the reason. Jesus is an afterthought.

Ok, I have the lights up, and the tree decorated. The presents are already bought because of those great black Friday deals. I narrowly escaped the pepper spray on my way to getting that Xbox. I feel sorry for the poor schmuck who got it squarely in the face. I just have a few more little things to order online then I’m done. Unfortunately, I’m hosting dinner this year for the whole family and I’m stressed out. I can’t wait for the holidays to be over. Oh yeah. And Jesus. Damn you, Jesus. It’s all your fault


(I was on a roll and had a whole paragraph about how I used to think Atheists should get over how they would overreact when people would say god like on The Pledge and stuff, but now that I don’t believe in god, my perspective has changed. However, I had to go do some shit and I lost my steam. Curse you, ADD.)

And since I don’t already have 8,000,000 things to knit already, I figure what’s one more? I’ll make one of these to give away so you can put it on you chrisfsmas tree.

I don’t have any rhyme or reason about who will get it. I know! The most creative ‘prayer’ will get it. It’s totally subjective, and just because you might have a better prayer than someone else, you might not get it anyway. Or I might put your names in a hat and pick a name (who actually uses a hat to do this?).

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