Tex Commando

She’s five fucking years old. After at least of a year in denial about her bedwetting problem, we finally succumbed to using pull ups at night time. She was wetting the bed about 5-6 nights a week. She was the one who made the final decision to wear pull ups so she can keep her bed dry all night. I don’t hold anything against her for what happens while she sleeps.

Let the records show that she has NEVER had a problem shitting in her sleep. However, tonight, she decides that she’s going to shit in the pull up. Huh? When I got the message from my son, I laughed. I believed that he was being silly. I was on my way home from the drugstore and grocery store where I unsuccessfully tried to buy tampons.

(Tangent alert: I was already pissed because neither store had the ones I needed. See, I use OB tampons. I happen to be in need of either the super or super plus variety. Both stores only had regular. I don’t NEED regular. I NEED super plus but I’d settle for super!!! Oh, and did I mention that at the commissary today, there was NOT A FUCKIN’ OB TAMPON IN THE GOT DAMNED PLACE!! Defeated, I ended up getting some other kind that I remember that I used to buy before I rediscovered OB’s.)

So, I called the oldest child to verify that the boy was shitting messing joking with me. He wasn’t. The oldest pleaded with me not to yell because the five year old was scared that I was going to yell. Ummmm- yeah- she shitted in her pants whatthefuckdoyouthinkimgonnado?

I didn’t. I calmly asked for an explanation. I am pretty sure she lied. I got home and made her clean herself up in the bathtub. I didn’t yell at her. I also told her that I didn’t care if she didn’t know how to make the bathtub water warm or not. If she had to use cold water to wash her poopy butt, I didn’t care because she shouldn’t have crapped her pants in the first place. I am so annoyed.

Well, I was annoyed when I started writing a few minutes ago. I’m smiling now. It’s kinda funny actually. It just better not happen again. Ever.

Seriously. Ever.

Tags: anger management, honest, Shit, Tampon