Tex Commando

This shit is intimate. This blogging shit. You people know what I mean.

The filter is off when I sit down to blog. It’s in another dimension when I blog after I’ve had a drink or two. Occasionally I’ll censor what I say on here. If it’s not something I can really speak freely about I just won’t discuss it at all. Instead, I’ll send angry cussing text messages to my bitch. Or, I’ll call up my sista’ Lucy.

Sometimes I’ll put things on this motherfucker that I don’t even really ever talk  about. It’s my diary. You know, the one you don’t care if someone else reads. The other diary got burned (thank goodness). And what’s funny is that people actually read it. People – complete strangers read this blog and learn pretty intimate details about my life and my fucked up mind and what crazy shit I believe and all of that. What’s even funnier, is that I read other people’s shit and learn shit about them too. What’s even more funnier is that sometimes I meet these strangers who aren’t really strangers at all because we already know every motherfucking thing about each other. But it’s kind of awkward anyway because you are talking to someone and you already know all of their shit, but it’s weird because you don’t want to necessarily talk about their shit with them  but you do want to ask them something specific about something they blogged about but you don’t want to overstep some weird internet-blogger code and say something about something that they didn’t actually want to talk about which is why they wrote it on their blog.

Like, the time I met the friend of a good friend of mine. She reads my blogs and Brandi’s blogs religiously. This girl knew more about the goings on in my life than my friend did. It kinda freaked me out when she asked me about something I had blogged about the day before. After the initial freak-out, my head grew three sizes because she actually likes reading my shit.

But back to my original point. Was there a point? Oh yeah, talking to a fellow blogger. It fucks me up even more if they’re anonymous. Take Vegas, for example. I expected JZ to be some frumpy, dumpy, pathetic, lump. Ummmmmmm nope. Not even close. That bitch is Gore-frickin’-geous, funny, smart, confident, fun, and most certainly not frumpy and dumpy.

Last night, I had a beautiful conversation with Dadsprimalscream. It seemed a bit awkward at first because I didn’t want to seem all buddy-buddy like I knew him and all. Because I don’t. Not really. Then I had this funny voice in my head (Rena) saying how I needed to say the F word more and how I “don’t cuss nearly as much as I do on my blog”. But I fought the urge to be ‘Tex’ because that’s not my speaking voice. Well, it is, but only in certain situations to certain mofos. It was cool. I got over the awkwardness after a few minutes, and I am excited to get to know him better over the next few weeks.

At least with him, the awkward familiarity goes both ways. Not so with my other soon-to-be ‘client’, Pam The Realtor. She has the advantage going into this relationship because SHE DOESN’T BLOG!! I look forward to talking to her tomorrow. Pam, be sure to bring up how amazing I am during our conversation tomorrow, OK? Tell me how funny I am on my blog and how boring and normal I am in real life. (Sssssh. This is a test to see if she reads this crap every day.)

Have you met a fellow internet friend? I want your stories about me. How did it fuck you up?

Tags: BGW-11, Blog, Exercise, Las Vegas, motherfucker, Shit