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Tex Commando

I'm not angry, just outspoken

Tag Archives: treehugger

When your 17 year old realizes that she’s very much like you, and is happy about it.

 

Despite all the strife of the past month, I can die a happy mom now.

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Am I the only one who isn’t jumping on the coupon bandwagon? What the fuck? Like, come on people, coupons aren’t new. So, why are people acting like coupons are the next best thing? I’m so tired of people posting pictures on Facebook of all the shitty junk food they just bought with coupons for $2.50.

Why are you bragging that you just bought 6 bags of Oreos? That’s nothing to be proud about! Or 50 boxes of cereal?!? I get it- some of you people are Mormon, and you think it’s contributing to your food storage, but I have news for you: boxed cereal goes stale. And it tastes like shit when it’s stale. And you and your kids are going to get sick of it after the first 20 boxes, and they/you will refuse to eat it. EVER AGAIN.

Give me some goddamn coupons for fresh fruits and vegetables. That’s what I want. I spend almost half of my monthly food budget on that shit. I don’t need more frozen pizzas and pop tarts in my life. That kind of shopping just discourages me from cooking. And it discourages my health from being healthy.

I can’t wait until I get into my ‘forever house’. Then, I’ll have fruit trees and berry bushes all over the place. From spring to fall, I’ll have more fresh fruit than I can handle. I’ll be shitting blueberries and apples! I can’t wait.

I guess that’s just me. What do you mofos think?

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I don’t want your Merry Christmas card. That predictable picture with your plastic smile is of no interest to me. Keep the yearly update of your family’s accomplishments to yourself. I won’t be sending you one.

Why am I going to spend $100+ on postage and spaghetti monster-knows-how much on cards and pictures? I’d rather save that money to get that nice pair of leather boots I’ve been eying.

I’m not an environmentalist by any stretch of the imagination, but DAMN do we really need to kill that many trees in the name of good cheer?

And let’s keep in mind how long it takes to track down the 50+ addresses, address the cards, sign your name to the card, write a meaningless note in the card, then lick the nasty-ass tasting envelopes, and mail them. I don’t know about you mofos, but I don’t have time like that. I got SHIT to do.

And when the card arrives at its destination- what? It gets opened up, and most likely tossed into a pile. If it’s from a really important person, it’ll be displayed for a minute before it gets unceremoniously ripped down and thrown away.

This is the truth. You know it is. You feel annoyed at the obligation of having to send a card to every fucking person you know because if you leave someone out of the Christmas card loop, you’ll be on some obscure acquaintance’s naughty list. Santa forbid you leave anyone out even IF you haven’t spoken to them in 5 years.

So, don’t send me a card. Comment on my blog. Send me an email. Or a text message. Or better yet – fuckin’ call me. Because that means more to me than your stupid predictable picture with the plastic smiles.

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