Tex Commando

I like tradition. I also like change. I’m not the kind of person who has to have the same things in the same order in the same way with the same people on the same dishes using the same recipes cooked the same way every year for the holidays. I like a big meal for TG. It just doesn’t have to be a ‘traditional’ meal. Get it?

For ten years, I had the ‘traditional’ meal. There were a few things added in over the years as I discovered new recipes, but nothing was EVER taken out. Everyone had their favorite thing, and no one could be disappointed. The food was good, of course, but it was always the same. I always lobbied for something different, something out of the ordinary, something interesting. I almost always got shot the fuck down. So, it was a bittersweet victory when I stopped going to West Virginia for TG and didn’t have to cook what everyone else insisted on.

I love the idea of eating Mexican or Chinese for TG dinner. Shit! Pizza would be a fun idea too. My family always rebels at this idea. I practically get tied up and beaten whenever I mention this. So, this year, I tucked my tail between my legs, put my head down, and cooked a delicious traditional meal using my usual delicious recipes. I left two of my least favorite things out of the equation- sweet potato balls, and banana pudding. Read the recipe and use your brain to figure out why I didn’t want to make those damned things AGAIN. And the banana pudding, well, it’s just been done over and over and over again. It’s so overdone, that it isn’t even appealing anymore.

So this afternoon, while I was in my fourth hour of cooking, everyone had something to say about having Chinese food for dinner. As in- they all wanted that instead of turkey and stuffing. Whaaaat!? They all looked at me like it was my fault that we had turkey for TG. Really? Because every time I mention doing something different, everyone screams bloody murder. And now they want something different? Fuck that!

BUT!!!!! They gave me shit because I didn’t make the sweet potato shit balls and the banana pudding. So, not only did they not want turkey and wanted Chinese, but since they had turkey, they felt cheated out of the full thing because they didn’t have those other two disgusting dishes. It was all I could do to tell them to go to West Virginia next year and eat that shit there. I didn’t have to, because Patricia read my mind and suggested to Trystan that they save their money and go there next year. Asshole.

Those little fuckers have some nerve. They really have no idea. Maybe it’s my ego. I will concede that perhaps my ego has a part in the reason I have not tried to make amends. But, relationships go both ways, and no effort has been made on the other side either.

The kids think they’re being funny by saying that “It’s just not Thanksgiving without Them.” It’s not funny. It’s hurtful. I’ll talk to them about it later when they are done acting like assholes long enough to actually have a serious conversation. For now, I’m going to drown my feelings in pecan pie, apple pie, and pumpkin tarts.

Tags: anger management, assholes, Cooking, Food, little fuckers, Mental Health, my teenagers, stupid