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Tex Commando

“I'm not angry, just outspoken”

Tag Archives: delicious

November 21, 2011 November is for Thanksgiving

  • for meaningful friendships that allow me to be myself without fear of rejection or judgement regardless of my religious beliefs
  • for red wine and fancy craft beer
  • for being the ‘godless and immoral’ one who is almost always the voice of reason
  • for guiltless, dirty, awesome sex
  • for the courage to leave the church
  • for being truly happy for the first time in my life (yeah. happiness is a real thing even for apostates)
  • for having an ENTIRE EXTRA DAY to do family fun stuff/shopping/work/relaxing
  • for being able to show off my awesome shoulders in sleeveless shirts and dresses
  • for shedding the baggage that makes me feel guilty/sinful for wearing a bikini this summer
  • for Bailey’s in my coffee
  • for being the Honorable Queen Bishop to my FMWAs

Anyone else out there who needs the support of friends when you feel like you have no where else you can go to be supported in your radical/immoral/apostate ideas? Hit me up. I have just the place for you.

 

 

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October 9, 2011 When I say just a little bit, I mean a little

Ok, so the glass holds 16+ ounces.

A little could mean just a few sips or it could mean a little compared to how much I usually drink ( full). In this case, I meant a few more sips. But since I’ve already had a generous amount, my ability to be specific is a little…fuzzy. So when I said pour a little bit more, I didn’t mean half of the glass which is about 8 oz. which is actually more than a ‘serving’ (5 oz.)  But since there’s half of a glass full of wine (yes, I’m a glass-half-full kind of person), and I’m not the kind of person to let perfectly delicious wine go to waste, I’ll drink it.

And that’s why I need to start buying wine by the case.

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June 19, 2011 I outdid myself

I usually suck at giving presents. Unless they’re for myself. Then I do quite the opposite- not suck.

Mr. T usually gets the suck end of the stick for his birthday because it’s just a few weeks before Father’s Day. For some reason, I can never get my shit together. It’s a good thing I’m good in the sack.

This year, I actually had a little wad of money at the time of Mr. T’s birthday. I wanted to buy him a bike so he could go bike riding with me.  As I was telling my eldest child what I was planning for her dad’s birthday, she ever-so-sensibly suggested that I get something that he wants. Ya know, because it’s his birthday and all.

What her dad has really wanted for a long time is BBQ classes. He loves to grill, but doesn’t have much knowledge beyond the basics. So, I put my perfect present for myself him on the backburner and searched  for and found the perfect birthday present for him: Bobby Flay’s ‘Grill It’ class at Sur La Table. He loved it, AND I had the perfect follow-on present for Father’s Day: a gift card to the awesome store he’d be at for his class.

But, I didn’t get the gift card. I forgot/got wrapped up in other things/spent the money/ forgot/ ran out of time/didn’t. I still have little bit of time to save up a more respectable amount of dinero for the gift card, so I scrapped that idea for now.

Instead, I baked some good shit for him last night. I made tiramisu again for the second time in my life and the second time in less than a month. AND I also baked an angel food cake with orange glaze and fresh whipped cream FROM SCRATCH. The kids and I made him a huge card from a ginormous poster board, and we ate those two desserts for breakfast.

The best part of it was last night while I was whipping up the eggs he told me that his grandma would make him an angel food cake every year for his birthday because angel food is his favorite. I was glad to give him his favorite cake.

Now, I’ll stop talking about how amazing I am, and tell you how great Mr. T is:

1. He is friendly.

2. He is kind.

3. He is thoughtful.

4. He is funny.

5. He is my best friend.

6. He is gorgeous.

7. He is a very good listener.

8. He is an awesome dad.

9. He is great in bed.

10. He is putting his life on the line right this moment while he teaches our soon-to-be 16 year old how to drive.

‘Nuff said.

 

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May 20, 2011 I think my vagina is mad at me

Haha. Just wanted to get your attention.

Actually, I really do think it’s mad at me. However, at the risk of putting Too Much Information out here for you mofos, I’m going to refrain from the rage against my vagina.

Instead, I’ll tell you about my quiche. Seriously, quiche. Do you people like quiche? I love it! I made one the other night, because I had tons of spinach that had about two more days left before it turned to slime. I also had some other veggies that needed to be used, so I decided to turn it into a quiche. Why don’t I make more of these things?!?

For real, why not? They’re super cheap to make. I always have the basic ingredients on hand- random fresh veggies, cheese, eggs, milk, flour, shortening, water, salt, pepper, other spices. All it takes is a little bit of time to make the pie crust and chop the veggies. Wednesday night’s quiche was perfect because the five year-old chopped the veggies, and the teenager made the pie crust. All I had to do was put it all together.

Since I didn’t have an actual recipe, I wasn’t sure how much it was going to make. I ended up getting two pies. Score! Did I mention that my kids WILL EAT VEGGIES-ANY VEGGIE IF IT’S COOKED IN PIE FORM?

They’re not the only ones who will eat anything cooked in a pie. Have you ever had a meat pie?

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May 17, 2011 It Actually Makes Me Want to Throw Acid in My Eyes

Mutilated Butter

It could ONLY be worse if there were crumbs in it, and if you look closely at approximately 2 o’clock, you’ll see a neat collection of crumbs. Wasn’t that considerate of the culprit to confine his/her crumbs to such a small package? Notice that the rim is fairly clean? That’s only because I wiped around it in order to put the cover on. I must have lost at least two tablespoons around the rim. Needless to say, I have my own container/don’t use margarine.

That’s my major beef for the morning, but it did get me thinking about other things that burn my ass lately. Allow me to share:

When I go out of my way to cook breakfast for my kids -meaning that I got up early and dirtied the kitchen for them- and they piss and moan about how the toast is too crunchy, or the eggs don’t have enough cheese in them, or how there’s not enough blueberries in the pancakes, or how they didn’t want JUST banana muffins, but they wanted chocolate chips in the muffins too,  bitch, bitch, bitch. Isn’t it enough that I even thought about making them ANYTHING?!?! Why can’t they just recognize that I put myself out to make them something that they, in most cases, asked for? It’s not like I get up early and bake shit all of the time, so they shouldn’t be used to it. Little fuckers.

And since I’m talking about food- I must share a recent dinner experience. I don’t quite remember what I cooked, except that it was fairly involved. It required a considerable amount of ingredients and creativity. I put a lot of thought into the meal. My kids are used to eating good food, or they at least have been exposed to good food. Also, if my cooking tastes like shit, I’ll admit it. This meal wasn’t shitty. Immediately, the three youngest started to protest. Loudly. Rudely. It was as if I dug food out of the trash and plated it up and forced them to eat maggots. Those little assholes were so rude and inconsiderate. Not only was I pissed that they were calling my cooking gross when it wasn’t, but they went on and on whining about the fact that they had to even TASTE everything! I know I raised these asses better than that. What about being polite? Gracious? KEEPING YOUR FUCKING RUDE OPINIONS TO YOURSELF?!?!!

Things like that make me think that I am cooking for them too much, and need to dial it back to frozen pizzas and spaghetti. Maybe they’d appreciate a few fresh vegetables better if I did that. Naah, probably not.

There are more things, I’m sure. I can’t think of more that are really worth sharing. Well, I can actually think of more things, but the morning is wearing on, and I must get around to some laundry before it consumes me. Do you think if I drank wine all day, I’d be more effective or less effective at getting my shitty house cleaned today?

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April 29, 2011 Rave reviews

I am so glad that I made that baked oatmeal recipe the other day. It turned out to be delicious. Everyone in my family liked it. But what’s not to like, really? Did you see the recipe? You really have to be weird to not like all of those things put together. Naturally, I made substitutes because that’s how I am. Here’s what I did:

I split the recipe and made two kinds. Since my Teenager doesn’t like blueberries unless they are inside muffins, I made one with blueberries and one with raisins.  These weren’t just ANY frozen blueberries, though. These were blueberries that I picked with my own motherfuckin’ hands last summer. That’s why they are so big and juicy and luscious.  My point is- if you’re going to make this recipe or any recipe with blueberries, don’t bother unless you have big ‘uns. I think I used too many raisins in the other recipe. It tasted too raisiny (yuck). You know what I mean? I love raisins in things, but there’s a delicate balance between being able to taste the delicious raisins and only tasting raisins and nothing else. Next time, I’ll use less raisins.

Both pans were without nuts because I didn’t have any nuts. Well, that’s a lie. I have almonds, but I don’t think this is an almondy kind of dish. It needed pecans or walnuts. I didn’t have those because I was too cheap to get them the last time I went to Costco. My bad.

I shredded half of an apple into each pan because I like apples. And so does my Teen. The main reason I got up early to bake this and also to make so many adjustments for her was because she’s a teenager. She doesn’t eat. And when she does eat, it’s crappy food. I know I got by just fine subsisting on shit when I was a teenager, but I want her to do better.

So I sacrifice my wants and desires  for hers (looks wistfully into the sky and sighs deeply)

I digress…

The shit turned out good. You should make it and tell me how you improved it. I’m going to repost the recipe on my recipe page sometime before I die. Hold your breath!

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April 27, 2011 So damn worth it

Going to bed early and waking up before ANYONE ELSE IS AWAKE.

Since I’ve started working at this new gym, I have started getting up early to train people. So, on the days that I don’t have to rise before the birds, I still have been getting up at the ass crack of dawn to do stuff. Today, I am baking a yummy (I hope) recipe I found on another blog. Have you mofos ever had baked oatmeal? I haven’t – not yet. I’ll let you know how it is in about 15 minutes.

I’m up so early baking this delicious smelling breakfast to entice my teenager to eat breakfast. She has to get up so early to catch the bus. Of course, she doesn’t get up until the last minute so she never has time to have breakfast. She really does a lot to help me out around here. I guess it’s the least I can do.

AND I’m blogging. And finishing up my megamug of coffee. That oatmeal is done. I’ll be back later with a picture of it. It looks so good. You’ll die.

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April 8, 2011 Like Oprah, but cheaper

When Mr. T and I went to the food & libations fair a couple of weeks ago, we had the chance to sample some pretty delicious new foods and libations. These are some of my favorite things from that day:

 

I only tried three of these beers on this display. I enjoyed the Breckenridge Vanilla porter, and the Old Chub scottish ale. I hit the jackpot when I went to the local wine/beer/liquor superstore and found those two on the shelves. Except, I had to spend all of my jackpot money on the danmed beer. That shit was expensive for a six pack. I could’ve gotten a case of Budwiser for the same price. Only, I am picky about what beer I drink so if I had a case of Budwiser, I wouldn’t drink it anyway so then I’d be wasting moneyso I’m glad I found the Vanilla Porter. Yay me!

 

If you mofos don’t already know, I really like wine. Like, really. I’m usually not the kind of person who chats people up just to get them to give me things. I also don’t usually use my sparkling charm and good looks to get stuff for free. However, since they gave out tasting tickets (only 12) and the tasting cups were only a sip (how the fuck can you tell you like something from one stupid sip?), I used some of the tools in my arsenal to be able to really ‘appreciate’ their product. Seriously, I wasn’t looking for free alcohol so I could get wasted. Cuz’ here’s the deal – they are there to promote their product. I will buy their product if they it tastes good and I get good service. I bought that shit because I knew it tasted yummy.

I bought/loved some of the foods they had at this place. These amazing chocolate covered pretzels won my heart. My favorite snacky food is The Pretzel. Add chocolate, peanut butter, or caramel to that bitch, and I’m in hevv-vven! As you can see, these things were dipped in chocolate and then rolled in all kinds of good things. My favorite one was dipped in home made caramel then double dipped in milk chocolate. It was like a Girl Scout samoa cookie without the toasted coconut. I suggested that to the owner’s sister who was there, and she agreed that was her first impression too when she tasted that pretzel. I’ll need to check back to see if ‘dem bitches got coconut next time.

Then there was the cheese. Aaaaaahhhhhh, cheese. I do love cheese. I bought some of the best goat cheese I have ever had in my life. It was the perfect mix of stinky feet and cheesy. I didn’t have to drown it in something else to mask the stinky feet-ness of it. I just ate that shit plain. Then later, as a nighttime snack, I fixed a plate of goatey cheese, crackers, sun-dried tomatoes, and kettle corn. The kettle corn felt a bit out of place on my plate of fancy snacks, but the sweetness of the popcorn went so well with the cheese. Brandi informed me that she eats stinky feet goat cheese on Oreos. Ew. Am I the only one who has a problem with this?

I’m getting hungry looking at those pretzels. I need to go make some lunch before I die. It’s a good thing I can’t see the pictures of my new favorite beer right now, or I’d be forced to drink one. But that wouldn’t be a smart move. I have to pick up a kid from school in 30 minutes. They discourage that sort of thing.

 

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January 25, 2011 I am so over them

Seriously. Between the broken-armed tween, the ever-performing teenager, the stupid question asking preteen, and the sassy preschooler, I really need a drink. Or a massage. Or a week away. Or something. They aren’t fighting. They are actually being good(ish). It’s just the constant noise. The prattle, the laughing, the banging, the messes, the questions, the managing, the reminders, the repeating. And that’s just within the last hour. I am afraid that with all of the time that we have all had together over the past three weeks, that they have learned a very valuable life lesson/skill:

THEY LEARNED THAT THEY GET AWAY WITH MORE IF THEY ALL GANG TEAM UP TOGETHER

I knew the day would come. They are smart kids. Eventually, they’d find out that there is strength in numbers. With one or two of them, I am strong. With three of them against me, they can push it farther. And forget it if all four of them set their minds to get something. I can’t compete. There’s only so much I can handle.

They’re not bad kids. They’re not walking all over me. Don’t think that I’m a pushover, because I’m not- usually. But they wear a bitch down. This afternoon, when I got home from work, they had already discussed how they would get lunch out. Eventually, they persuaded me to go to Costco to get some food that we needed, and we could eat a ‘cheap’ lunch out while we were there.

Only, it wasn’t really cheap. It’s not worth it to me to drive all the way to Costco just for a gigantic $2 slice of pizza and a churro. We needed some things, so I figured what the hell, we’ll go. After I spend $98.26 on the couple of things I needed, I discovered that their kitchen was closed for repairs. FML. Luckily, we bought a shitload of ramen noodle bowls and a huge-ass cherry pie. So, that’s what we ate for lunch. At home.

So, now I’m sitting here spending my precious quite time while they’re eating to blog. Great priorities I have, huh? I know they’ll be done soon. I know that they’ll be back to school on Thursday. I know Costco is true. In the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, ramen.

 

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December 19, 2010 my sunday

  • finished knitting the other mitten for my stepfather
  • went to Tuesday morning for a coffee grinder to grind up almonds into flour
  • baked a gluten free clementine cake using freshly ground almond flour
  • made carnitas for pork tacos tonight
  • finished the other mitten for the youngest child’s Chrifsmas present
  • read some blogs
  • sent some emails
  • texted a little bit
  • knitted some more
  • enjoyed almost four hours of peace and quiet in my house all by myself while the family was at church

How about you? How was your Sunday?

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