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Tex Commando

“I'm not angry, just outspoken”

Tag Archives: honest

June 28, 2013 My turn

Ok, so I know how to take turns. Brandi writes. Then I write, then she writes again. Not to give too much information (like, really? Me? TMI?), but art should imitate life.

B knows what I mean.

So, I’ll write ONE decent post to your….UMMMMMM…. eight.

Deal? Deal.

You have seven more to go before it’s my turn again. Art. Imitating. Life.

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May 10, 2013 Meeting my old self

For some reason, I started reading old blog posts from The Other blog. Then Brandi read more and told me about it. Then I read more this morning. And more and more and more. So, here are a few that I thought were particularly excellent. They are in no particular order. Read the comments too. Most of the fun happens in the comments.

The Definition of Marianne

This never got a chance to happen. (read the comments) I need to do this. I need to kick the shit talker’s ass in June. Maybe I’ll give her a week to get settled before I crush her.

Guess what we did today. It’s a many-times-a-year thing. I can’t wait to take Brandi and her kids.

I used to cook like a motherfucker. I even posted RECIPES. I need banana cake now. And ohmyfuckinggod spaghetti and meatballs , I forgot about this one!!!

This is about the time in the life of Cookies 4 Breakfast when I start to really crack myself up. It’s also when I am in the process of losing a dear friendship. It’s also when another better friendship starts to REALLY take shape. It’s about a month into TexCommando. Only a couple more links, and I’ll be done. I promise.

When Jesus Attacks, that asshole Jesus is always fucking my shit up.

The last line STILL cracks me up (you must read this one)

Brandi is at least 13 out of the 18 that I listed. She was before she became the love of my life, and she still is (plus more that I won’t torture you all with).

What do you think? Did I miss anything?

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May 2, 2013 Hey baby, you come here often?

So, what’s new?

Nothing much here.

Unless you want to call kicking ass in all three of the -ology classes I’m taking, working, being mom, maintaining a long distance relationship, getting ready to move, and knitting, nothing.

Oh! Did I mention that I’m going to start doing yoga again, too?

It’s stressful and exciting. If I think about it too much I get overwhelmed, but it’s exciting so I think about it. So then I get stressed, and excited all over again. (It’s hard living inside my head sometimes)

And the long distance relationship thing. It fucking sucks. I don’t  know how people can do this long-term. I can hardly make it through the next four weeks. Shit! The next four hours would be too long. UGH.

I’m a tiny bit obsessed with talking about Brandi to my coworkers anyone who are my captive audience will listen. By tiny, I mean a tiny bit of my conversations are about anything but My B.

Soooooo… since you are still reading, AND I mentioned Brandi, allow me to tell you a few things about her.

  • Did you know that My Brandi is a writer? Of course you knew that. OF COURSE you knew about her blog. What? You didn’t know that she has one? It’s imperative that you stop what you’re doing RIGHT THIS MINUTE and get over there. Give yourself a few hours (days) and read every post and every comment. Oh. My. God. I don’t go back and re-read things I have already read, but I was doing it tonight, and I laughed out loud at least eighty million times. She’s funny. And I’m not saying that because I love her. Start here, at the grocery store. Next, take a trip to your local YMCA. If you don’t LOL, you are a humorless idiot who shouldn’t be allowed to breathe . (I could link you to a ton of these awesome gems of hilarity, but I need to get on with this homage to My Brandi so I can call her.)
  • She is a smart lady. She knows things. Not only does she know things, she can have intelligent, thought-provoking conversations about things. All kinds of things. Next time you see her, ask her about something controversial like, euthanasia or late-term abortion. You’re sure to have an interesting conversation.
  • She is a good listener. For some reason, people feel safe talking to her. I know I do. I always have. Maybe it goes back to her being smart and able to carry on thoughtful conversations. But she’s open minded and doesn’t judge (much).
  • She has the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever had the pleasure to gaze into. That fact is true. You can see for yourself next time you see her. But the real truth behind this fact is that she has turned me into a mushy ball of mush. This one isn’t so much about her as it is about what she has done to me. Love letters? Check. Paper chains with little messages written on them counting down significant events? Check. Sweet goodnight video messages every night before I go to sleep? Check. Songs that make me cry tears of happiness because they describe perfectly how I feel about My Brandi? Check. And I have only scratched the surface on this one.

I guess the point of this whole thing is to say that I’m doing fine. Life is hectic, but exciting. I miss My Brandi.

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January 27, 2013 This one is for My B

Everyone should have a B. What’s so great about having a B, you ask? I’ll tell you. That’s why I am sitting here NOT eating my pita chips and hummus and NOT drinking my wine. So I can tell you.

  • A good B will challenge the fuck out of you. If you’re lucky. My B always keeps me on my toes. I can’t NOT be excellent or at least want to be excellent when I am around My B. 
  • A good B will encourage you like there’s no tomorrow. Any B worth a shit will encourage you and encourage you and help you feel like you can conquer the world.
  • A good B will make you laugh at your ridiculousness AND be ridiculous right along with you. When My B and I are sharing the same space, there is always much laughing. Sometimes so much laughing that my face hurts. That’s the BEST!
  • A good B will communicate. How else would someone like ME know how to treat a B like mine? Communication.
  • A good B will accept you, freckles, scars, and all. B appreciates what’s inside. B sees what’s in your heart. B accepts all of it and finds beauty in it.

Ok. So there you have it. Do you have a B?  What does your B do for YOU?

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December 9, 2012 The best thing

When your 17 year old realizes that she’s very much like you, and is happy about it.

 

Despite all the strife of the past month, I can die a happy mom now.

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April 22, 2012 falling in and out of love

You know what it’s like when you fall in love. That OMG I CAN’T GET ENOUGH feeling that keeps you coming back for more and more. It’s exciting and fun and fulfilling. It makes you feel giddy and warm and fuzzy inside.

Then that shit gets old.

You realize that you spent so much time together in the first place that you don’t have anything to say to each other anymore. The thing that attracted the two of you in the first place, that spark, isn’t there anymore. You don’t feel the same thrill at the thought of being together. You are disinterested. You feel apathetic.

Where has the love gone?

 

That’s how I feel about blogging.

You didn’t think I was talking about Homie, did you? Getthefuckouttahere.

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January 31, 2012 In my mind

I’m funny.

I’m clever.

I’m cool.

I’m bold.

I’m full of energy.

I don’t gossip.

I don’t give a shit.

In reality

I stay annoyed when I should just tell you that you bug the shit outta me.

I try too hard.

I don’t try hard enough.

I talk about people.

I worry that I don’t do enough.

I get overwhelmed and shut down.

I’m lazy.

Is your reality really real? Is the story you are telling yourself really the truth? And now, as I sit here and write those two questions, I question my own perception of my thoughts and reality. Damn! I really need to get out of my brain.

(How many times does one person really need to say really?)

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January 29, 2012 My mind’s tellin’ me NO…

It’s also not shutting up.

Does that ever happen to you? You keep having the same recurring thought when you don’t want to. Don’t you hate that? I hate when I start thinking about something I don’t want to think about  but can’t make myself not think about it. Then, when I realize that I’m not thinking about that thing, I feel satisfied at my ability to not think about that thing. Unfortunately, that feeling of self-satisfaction is immediately erased by self-loathing because once again, I am thinking about the very thing that I wanted to NOT think about.

I wonder what is triggering these thoughts. I guess it’s time for some brainwork to figure out what the trigger is so I can stop it.

What thoughts do you have that torment you?

 

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November 21, 2011 November is for Thanksgiving

  • for meaningful friendships that allow me to be myself without fear of rejection or judgement regardless of my religious beliefs
  • for red wine and fancy craft beer
  • for being the ‘godless and immoral’ one who is almost always the voice of reason
  • for guiltless, dirty, awesome sex
  • for the courage to leave the church
  • for being truly happy for the first time in my life (yeah. happiness is a real thing even for apostates)
  • for having an ENTIRE EXTRA DAY to do family fun stuff/shopping/work/relaxing
  • for being able to show off my awesome shoulders in sleeveless shirts and dresses
  • for shedding the baggage that makes me feel guilty/sinful for wearing a bikini this summer
  • for Bailey’s in my coffee
  • for being the Honorable Queen Bishop to my FMWAs

Anyone else out there who needs the support of friends when you feel like you have no where else you can go to be supported in your radical/immoral/apostate ideas? Hit me up. I have just the place for you.

 

 

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November 8, 2011 I missed my own birthday

Not the actual birthday of my life as a real person who actually exists in the world. I didn’t miss that. That happened a couple of weeks ago. I’m officially in my mid-late 30’s. It’s pretty awesome. I like it.

The birthday I did  miss was Tex Commando’s first birthday. I’m about a week late. Last week was pretty hectic. I won’t bore you with the details. I will, however, bore you with some reflections about my life over the past year. JZ did the same thing. I think she and I were probably born around the same time. I always knew that bitch was special. But enough about her. It’s my blog.

  1. I lost one of my best friends and gained no less than 4. I won’t mention your names because you should know who you are. Ok. I will mention one person because I don’t want her to have any doubt about how much she means to me. Brandi. That bitch is one of my favorites. Seriously. She is amazing. We can go from sarcastically loving insults one minute to heartfelt soul-bearing to uncomfortably funny sexy texts all in one conversation. She is so perceptive, and keeps shit real. I appreciate that because I can be pretty clueless sometimes. It was worth losing that one friendship to have gained what I have gained with Brandi’s. (FTR, I mostly wrote all of that because I know it makes her feel uncomfortable when I say nice things to/about her.)
  2. It was cool to have an alter ego. I liked the feeling that I could be more ‘me’ here. Tex was the person that has always been hiding inside of me. Tex IS Marianne. It’s the uncensored part of me. Or at least I thought it was. But I still censor myself. Everyone does.
  3. I don’t really have much to say. A lot of the time, I start posting something and then I realize that it’s shit. Or, I think that no one really cares about my opinion about whatever it is. That’s why I’m not really keeping this blog updated like I’d like to.
  4. Although I don’t actively seek to influence people to sin (whatever that means), I do try to encourage people to be true to themselves. Some people see this as a threat. To some it’s a slippery slope best to be avoided. To me, it’s one of my best qualities.
  5. What started out as funny and silly, has turned into something that makes me feel very uncomfortable. My ass. As in- Lookit my ass, isn’t it amazing? I know I have perpetuated it. I have encouraged it. But it’s not just the ass. It’s the whole sexy thing in general. I’m more than that. It sounds dismissive when people throw that into the conversation. In some cases it doesn’t bother  me. If you own a picture of my ass in a bikini, I don’t care what you have to say about it. If you have ever taken a picture of my ass or will ever take one, you are allowed to talk about it. I know it’s a weird double standard. I feel the same way about the word apostate, and the N word.
As I go forth into my Terrible Twos, I hope they aren’t too terrible. There are a lot of exciting changes on the horizon for the Commando family. I hope to get Mr. Tex on here sometime. Maybe some crafty shit, and once I start cooking again, I’ll post a couple more recipes. What do you want to see from me?

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