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Tex Commando

I'm not angry, just outspoken

Tag Archives: ADHD

  • hormones
  • long discussions about our feelings
  • the same conversation over and over and over again
  • skid marks
  • hair
  • shower graffiti

I have procrastinated long enough. I must study now.

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Work and school and school and work and kids and school and work and kids and on and on and on and on.

It has been busy around here. Weird.  Being a full-time college student and full-time retail worker with children doesn’t leave a lot of time to blog. Like now, I should be studying for an exam tomorrow. But I am taking a break because I just finished a quiz and got 18/20 on it. Not bad, eh?

Do you mofos know what I’m going to college for? I don’t know if I told you. Maybe I did, but I don’t want to look back at the previous posts so I’ll tell you again. Kinesiology. Don’t know what that is? Perhaps you should look it up.

I am having such a good time doing college. On one hand, I wish I had done this 20 years ago when I was 18. I’m amazed at all there is to do at Maryland. So far, the professors are excellent, the staff are awesome, and I have more support than I know what to do with. It seems almost impossible NOT to do well.

ON THE OTHER HAND, I’m 99.896% positive that I would probably be like the other 96.873% of my classmates and not:

  • show up
  • be on time
  • participate in discussions
  • be on task in class
  • read the required material before class
  • watch required videos
  • do required assignments
  • listen to professor

Instead, I do those things. I’m the nerd in front of class knitting, taking notes, answering questions, and ASKING questions. I’m getting the most out of this whole college thing and it’s fucking exciting!!

I have taken a way longer break than I had planned for. It’s time to get back to studying for my exercise psychology (my favorite class) exam (nerd).

Perhaps when I get another break, I’ll tell you more about what Brandi is up to and how WE are doing.

(Hint: exceptionally well)

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Change sucks.  Even good change.

900 square feet is enough until you add children.

College is hard. I think this is one of the reasons I stopped doing it.

I fucking love science. Who am I?

I have a favorite element – H. Can you guess why? (Brandi, you can’t answer)

It’s a good thing that I have a psychiatrist who thinks Ritalin is a good treatment for my ADHD otherwise I’d never get all this reading done.

A good BLF can make everything better.

People surprise and amaze me every day. That’s usually a good thing.

Thursday night is my new favorite night. I didn’t have one before, so I guess technically, it’s just my favorite night.

I haven’t gotten up from this chair in several hours. I think my ass might be fused to the cushion.

I should probably eat lunch.

Ok. That’s it. I am outta here.

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When your 17 year old realizes that she’s very much like you, and is happy about it.

 

Despite all the strife of the past month, I can die a happy mom now.

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I just realized that I’m ovulating. OUCH! My left ovary is hurting. Its a weird feeling.

Know what’s also weird? I’m falling apart. Like, I have piles of undone shit all over my room. Other shit needs to get done, but I can’t get it together enough to do ANYTHING.

Why? I was on top of the world in January. I had my shit together in January, and now, I’m all fucked up. It’s actually quite overwhelming. The suck thing is that there are 8 million things to do and I sit here, looking around, trying to figure out which one to do first. But, instead of actually doing something, I pace from pile to pile or task to task accomplishing nothing because all of them are important and I can’t figure out which one to just DO. Then I feel like a loser because- goddamn! Why can’t I just be productive? And THIS is the source of my lack of motivation and blah. So now what?

It’s annoying. And the minutes are ticking by. And in a couple more hours, my kids will be home and then I can forget about everything else because they need food and rides and directions. I’d better go.

 

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Anne, I’ll make you one and send it- after christmas. Your prayer was the best. I need your address. But don’t rush. I won’t get around to making it until probably January. Brandi, don’t get your panties in a wad. I will make you one too.

How lame. I hardly read blogs anymore let alone update mine. I apologize to my loyal fans (cough, cough) for not keeping up with it. I don’t think I even have the attention span to read more than one or two lines of ANYTHING. That pretty much sucks because I love to read. I was the person who could zip through a book (any book) in two days or less. Now? I have been reading the same book for a month. A month? How is that even possible? And forget about anything even remotely intellectual. I can’t even get through a page.

I have been listening to podcasts out the wazoo. My favorites are: WTF with Marc Maron, Adam Carolla, For Crying Out Loud and Mormon Expression.  Some new ones I am getting into are,  The Good Atheist,  The Mental Illness Happy Hour. I love to listen to people talk. Am I weird? I pop my headphones in (during the day when I’m alone in my quiet house), and do my chores. I plug my iphone into my car and listen to them while I’m driving around in my car. When I need to drown out my children, I pop in my headphones and listen to the best rants EVER by the Aceman.

I can’t read or write while I’m listening in on someone’s conversation. That’s why I haven’t been in the game. I don’t know how long it’ll last.

 

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Aside from not thinking people want to read what I have to say, there’s another reason I don’t post more. My friends and their wacky conversations on facebook. I get started on a blog post, and inevitably someone starts chatting or commenting on something crazy. Well, OF COURSE I can’t let it go. I have to participate. Then I forget what I was blogging about in the first place, and scrap the half-written paragraph. I guess I could only have one window open at a time. I don’t have to be on facebook while I’m blogging. I could allocate my time between blogging, housework, errands, facebook, work, working out, and all of that crap. But what fun is that?

I sorta like living in chaos. I like bouncing from thing to thing to thing. I like being rushed. I feel like I’m my most creative when there’s a tiny element of chaos involved. I feel like I get nothing done if I have plenty of time on my hands. Take this morning, for example:

I get up early and make my coffee. Then I’m on the computer to finish the blog post I started almost 24 hours earlier. Then I rememer about the pattern I was going to find for my 10 year-old’s friend to knit on her trip to Orlando in a couple of weeks. Then it’s time to go upstairs for the coffee/make breakfast/nag my kids to get ready for school/drink coffee/talk to kids. Then back downstairs to work on the blog post/check facebook/make plans to see friends today/arrange schedule and to-do list/delete old blog post and start this one. Then I go back upstairs to check on the kids/start creating an easy pattern for Mimi’s friend because the others online were too hard/make half of the girls’ lunches. I still haven’t brushed my teeth or gotten dressed. Zoom kids to bus stop. Get back to computer to attempt yet AGAIN to finish blog post. Then decide to go in and talk to husband who is still in bed (don’t hate. he had a rough night’s sleep). Kids are all gone. Why, yes, I will have sex with you, Mr. T. Finally take a shower, but just put on robe/check livingsocial for daily deal/buy deal/check more deals/get in touch with photographer who has another deal on livingsocial/talk to Mr. T/get halfway dressed/kiss Mr. T goodbye. I’m still not all the way dressed. No brush teeth. No dinner started like I need to. Blog post STILL isn’t done. Did I mention I’m supposed to have plans with a friend/make hummus/grilled pizza crust for dinner/train client/take kid to doctor/and leave for the weekend today? It’s 10am.

The crazy thing is that on a day like to day I’ll actually get all of this shit done and more. I’m still  halfway dressed and haven’t brushed my teeth. I make fun of the teenager because she always runs out of the house with no shoes on. She can’t put her shoes on before she leaves the house because she’s the same way.

I like it. I hate it. It’s what makes me who I am. It’s the best part of me and the worst part all tied into one awesome package called Tex.

I’d like to keep patting myself on the back, but I need to get dressed/brush my teeth/make pizza dough/hummus. Oh yeah- and eat breakfast. I haven’t eaten yet. I’m hungry. Maybe I should do that first.

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