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Tex Commando

I'm not angry, just outspoken

Tag Archives: lovergirl

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When you’ve been BFF’s with someone for years, then have an illicit relationship with them and then end up living together, how do you decide when your anniversary is?

Do you base it on when SHE realized that she loved you?

Or, when YOU realized that you loved her?

Or is it when you told her that you loved her?

Or maybe it was the first time you kissed?  

Or when you told your friends you were ‘together’? But which friend was the first one to know?

But, what about all the friends who ‘knew’ before you did? Do you take that into consideration?

Or is it when you told your blog?

Or Facebook?

Either way, it has been an amazing, difficult, exciting, challenging, enlightening, fantastic , +/- year!

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My hope is that I’ll get it all out of the way in advance of her arrival. That might not happen, though. What might end up happening is that momentum thing that I talked about a few months ago. Maybe I’ll get rolling talking about my Ladyfriend Lovergirl and not be able to stop. Oh well, that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

#2 is a realization I had back in February. It caused a minor mental crisis until my oh-so-candid friends talked me down off the ledge. Now, after having realization #1, this one is in my mind once again. Are you tired of all the lead-up to my crazy thoughts? Welcome to my head.

I’m going to get to see and talk to best friend in the whole wide world whom I love spending time with and we will be living in the same house and I’ll get to see her WHENEVER I WANT!!!

This is a good thing! I can honestly say that there has never been a time that I haven’t loved spending time with Brandi. (Well, there was that one time at the park when our kids were little, but that doesn’t count.) There is never a dull moment when we are together. Now, with love involved, our moments are even better.

Are you wondering where the need to talk me down off the freak out ledge comes in?

I have other friends too. I do fun, impromptu things with them on the days there are no children at home with me. Things like drunk knitting with my Wednesday ladies. Or sushi. Or inviting myself over to a friend’s house when she tells me she is cooking latkes. Or a day trip to go yarn shopping (don’t laugh at me, I love this kinda thing) Still don’t see the problem?

Am I going to keep doing that? Of course I won’t always just run off with my friends. I will have a relationship to maintain. The problem is that I don’t see myself doing anything but staying home with Brandi. I see myself always choosing to spend time with her. I see the potential to get completely wrapped up in Brandi and losing Tex.

This has everything to do with how intense my feelings for her are. I’m sure the fact that we have always lived so far away from each other and only saw each other once or twice a year for so many years has something to do with it too. I know the ‘honeymoon’ will end. Eventually we will get used to being able to see and talk to each other IN PERSON. EVERYDAY. Life will become normal. The intensity will wane.

But I don’t want it to.

So, promise me something. Will you?

Promise me that if I don’t hang out with you for awhile you won’t be mad at me. Promise me that you will keep trying to include me in things even if I say no for a few months. Promise me that you will tell me if I am neglecting you. Also, promise me that you won’t think it’s weird if Brandi hangs out with us too. She’s an excellent person. You’ll love her. AND?! She doesn’t drink. I have my own built-in DD.

OK, that’s it. Today I get the keys to our place. I can’t wait!!!

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