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Tex Commando

I'm not angry, just outspoken

Tag Archives: Namaste

It’s the time of the year where a million friends get together for a week of fun and food and sand and fires and nakedness and drinking. Ok, well not everyone gets naked and drunk. Ok, to be fair, the nakedness was in the dark. Wait. That doesn’t sound better does it? UMMMMM……nevermind.

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Change sucks.  Even good change.

900 square feet is enough until you add children.

College is hard. I think this is one of the reasons I stopped doing it.

I fucking love science. Who am I?

I have a favorite element – H. Can you guess why? (Brandi, you can’t answer)

It’s a good thing that I have a psychiatrist who thinks Ritalin is a good treatment for my ADHD otherwise I’d never get all this reading done.

A good BLF can make everything better.

People surprise and amaze me every day. That’s usually a good thing.

Thursday night is my new favorite night. I didn’t have one before, so I guess technically, it’s just my favorite night.

I haven’t gotten up from this chair in several hours. I think my ass might be fused to the cushion.

I should probably eat lunch.

Ok. That’s it. I am outta here.

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Everyone should have a B. What’s so great about having a B, you ask? I’ll tell you. That’s why I am sitting here NOT eating my pita chips and hummus and NOT drinking my wine. So I can tell you.

  • A good B will challenge the fuck out of you. If you’re lucky. My B always keeps me on my toes. I can’t NOT be excellent or at least want to be excellent when I am around My B. 
  • A good B will encourage you like there’s no tomorrow. Any B worth a shit will encourage you and encourage you and help you feel like you can conquer the world.
  • A good B will make you laugh at your ridiculousness AND be ridiculous right along with you. When My B and I are sharing the same space, there is always much laughing. Sometimes so much laughing that my face hurts. That’s the BEST!
  • A good B will communicate. How else would someone like ME know how to treat a B like mine? Communication.
  • A good B will accept you, freckles, scars, and all. B appreciates what’s inside. B sees what’s in your heart. B accepts all of it and finds beauty in it.

Ok. So there you have it. Do you have a B?  What does your B do for YOU?

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Anne, I’ll make you one and send it- after christmas. Your prayer was the best. I need your address. But don’t rush. I won’t get around to making it until probably January. Brandi, don’t get your panties in a wad. I will make you one too.

How lame. I hardly read blogs anymore let alone update mine. I apologize to my loyal fans (cough, cough) for not keeping up with it. I don’t think I even have the attention span to read more than one or two lines of ANYTHING. That pretty much sucks because I love to read. I was the person who could zip through a book (any book) in two days or less. Now? I have been reading the same book for a month. A month? How is that even possible? And forget about anything even remotely intellectual. I can’t even get through a page.

I have been listening to podcasts out the wazoo. My favorites are: WTF with Marc Maron, Adam Carolla, For Crying Out Loud and Mormon Expression.  Some new ones I am getting into are,  The Good Atheist,  The Mental Illness Happy Hour. I love to listen to people talk. Am I weird? I pop my headphones in (during the day when I’m alone in my quiet house), and do my chores. I plug my iphone into my car and listen to them while I’m driving around in my car. When I need to drown out my children, I pop in my headphones and listen to the best rants EVER by the Aceman.

I can’t read or write while I’m listening in on someone’s conversation. That’s why I haven’t been in the game. I don’t know how long it’ll last.

 

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I have been contemplating this for the past day. Yes, there is a difference. Allow me to illustrate:

It’s inconsiderate to take too long in the shower after class at the yoga studio. There are signs up all over the place reminding you of this. People are waiting to use it. Everyone has somewhere to be soon. We are all busy. Stop chatting and rinse your ass and get out of the shower. Five people have been in and out of the other shower during the time you spent hogging the other one. What’s rude is how you blow off the fact that you’ve been in there for 10 minutes saying, “It’s just like home, you know when you get to talking and don’t realize how long you’ve been in there. No big deal.” NO IT’S NOT FUCKING LIKE HOME!!! It is a big deal when I have my day scheduled to the minute and I barely made it to class in the first place because I have shit ‘ta do. It is a big deal that the lady behind me gets to her kid’s preschool in time. It’s also a big deal that you acknowledge your mistake and APOLOGIZE. At least apologize for your inconsiderate behavior when confronted about it (I kept my mouth shut because I wouldn’t have been nearly as polite as the person who did say something).

I’m glad I got that off my chest. Where do you draw the line between inconsiderate and rude?

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Some things that get my panties in a wad:

  1. When my kids behave like assholes while we are on the way to do something fun. FOR THEM.
  2. When someone gets mad at me because of the consequences of THEIR DECISION.
  3. When I am trying to give someone something and I feel like I am the one jumping through hoops. Not that I expect them to bow down to me and kiss my ass. I’ll do what I can (within reason), but I’m not going to put myself out just to give you something. FOR FREE.
  4. When I have a lot of very important things to do, like listen to my favorite podcasts, and my kids insist on talking to me.
  5. When I’m being bitchy and irrational and I hate everyone in the world and I can’t bear to hear one more child’s voice or even open my mouth to say even one little word and they JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!!!!
That’s not unreasonable is it? No. I didn’t think so. Don’t you dare contradict me in the comments. I’ll change them if you do. No I won’t.

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I don’t care if you don’t like it, I’m watching the Real Housewives. No matter how fake they are.

Not only am I WATCHING it, I’m watching ALL OF THEM!!!! EVERY NIGHT!!!! Orange County, New York, and New Jersey.

Also? I’m watching Andy Cohen afterwards.

It’s heaven.

Well, almost heaven. Like, if I actually believed in heaven. Which I don’t. But, if I did THIS is what it would look like:

  • fake tans
  • fake boobs
  • big lips
  • blonde hair
  • lots of drunk ladies
  • big houses
  • bankruptcy (well, maybe not this one)
Don’t worry, I’ll get it all out of my system before you come back home. I will. Probably. Well, maybe not. You know how I am.

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